The subject of what troubles you changes a lot, but the pattern of something troubling you comes up very often. But, what is absolutely true is that when it comes up it also goes down, every time. When something is troubling you it seems to be very important. It seems like the issue must be solved or else it will become stuck or permanent in some way. But, it never ceases to not change. So why do we take it so seriously if we know it will just change anyways?
This is it's nature: it comes in, feels so serious, and then goes.
The way out of this repeating pattern is to see exactly how it works. And to see how it works, you have to watch it. But you must watch it in a way that doesn't impede in it any way. The pattern must been seen as it is. Also, trying to stop it, re-arrange, fix it, get away from it, and so on, are just things that stop you from seeing it clearly.
To begin watching just simply notice that the subject of what troubles you changes. For example, one day you are worried about your job but then that changes, and the next week it changes to worrying about a strange feeling in your leg. This is change. Don't try too hard to notice every change but just casually take notice of it. Let this process/practice take time; you don't need to rush it. In fact, rushing it will impede your progression. Also, just notice the contrast between when you are thinking about something that is troubling you and then when you are not. For example, one moment you are deep in thought, feeling troubled, and then a minute later it has recessed. Just continue noticing until you really know that it's always changing; therein lies true peace.
To help you a long, practice a meditation that focuses on seeing change. Pick a point, such as the breath at your nose or a mantra. Begin by focusing on your object in a very easy and casual way, don't try to hold too tightly because you won't be able to see all the change. So, your focusing on your object and in the next moment your off thinking. That's it. The focus was on and then off. That's the point. All day, all your life, your focus jumps around and changes, It goes off to thoughts, emotions, body feelings, and so on. You may be focusing on your object and then the focus slides off an goes down to your foot. Or, perhaps you hear something, like a car, and your starting thinking about it, and then that leads to thinking about something else. When you notice this is happening, just go back to your object. Change and seeing the change is happening is the point. That's a great practice.
Letting yourself see that what troubles you is always changing can be difficult. The desire to think more about it, really just results in hanging on to it. We often want to delve face first into the problem and completely solve it, get rid of it. This makes sense to us but is just part of the pattern. And, you can know this by watching how it works within yourself. Actually, really solving all your mental problems is not the goal. What's important to the pattern is to keep going and doing the same thing over and over with different subjects.
This practice will shake your self image because your self image is based on the falsity that you are not changing in some way. You can just take notice of this, and keeping going.
To see things more clearly is only something that you can do for yourself.
If you have any more questions, let me know and we can discuss it.
Brian Eric Cohen
www.cohenbrian.wix.com/awaremeditatelisten
